Growing and Glowing ♡

Updated: Feb 11, 2021

My life as of February, 2021.

As 2021 has blossomed, I have taken the time to reflect on my mental health. While for some, living in quarantine has lifted the weight of participating in social interactions, quarantine for me has created a twilight zone where I feel as though my entire life has become a mere daydream.

The essential goal I have set for myself this year is becoming unconditionally confident in my own skin. During this passed summer, I was the most confident I have ever been; Lila and I went to the beach in our tiny bikinis and ran through the water -- in what we thought to be slow motion -- just for the fun of it. I made countless videos of showing my stomach rolls, leg hair, and imperfect features that I knew were really perfect. But as the months of winter came along, and my sun-kissed cheeks and tan body faded, I found myself wishing I could just go back. I wished I could just go back to the days of feeling the sunshine on my face, driving around in the convertible, and getting ice-cream every night. But that's where I was wrong; I could still do these things. I realized that just because I wake up to a white blanket of snow covering the grass doesn't mean the sunset won't be beautiful or my hot coffee won't taste as yummy as the coffee flavored ice-cream I ate so often.


2021 has brought me so much more peace and joy than I could have imagined. Yes, I may have spent New Year's Eve in my best friend's garage, and my sixteenth birthday eating a gourmet cake in my living room, but that doesn't mean they weren't the best celebrations I have ever had.

February: the month of love. Oh, where to begin. I have developed a sense of pride in my newfound confidence. Whether this involve dancing around in a bikini in the snow or having my own personal fashion show in front of the mirror, confidence is something that can boost my self esteem to the heavens. This month began with my sixteenth birthday, where everything that could've went wrong, well, went wrong. Changes of plans, medical mishaps, and cloudburst snowstorms took quite the toll on my birthday plans. Nevertheless, I totally brought my Sixteen Candles Molly Ringwald fantasy to life. My sixteenth was shortly followed by my sister's eleventh, which we celebrated at an ice-cream shop...yes, in the middle of February. We were able to watch the gorgeous cotton-candy-clouded sunset over the ocean that I had missed so much from the summertime. This week, we stayed warm and safe, eating delicious Chinese food leftovers and watching "The Pickup Artist" over popcorn and sour candy. My morning routine consisted of watching the snow and drinking chai tea. I began this part with February being the month of love, but not the traditional kind. During the month of February thus far, I have found a sense of self-love that I have wanted to achieve for so long. While I still aim to embody even more self-admiration and confidence over the course of the year, I believe that the month of February has given me more of an idea of who I want to become. I realized this month that my happiness comes first, and it is so important to me to remember this realization. My body is my sanctuary. Before I criticize my height, I will remember that my legs take me where I need to go. Before I criticize my stomach, I will remember that it holds all of the yummy foods that keep me alive. Before I criticize my face, I will remember that my skin tells the story of who I am as a person. I love myself, and it's as simple as that. Have a wonderful day, angel!



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